Chapter Highlights...
The Appreciation Room is where your thoughts go when you encounter positive & encouraging things about your spouse. On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your spouse. The more time you spend meditating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your spouse.
You may find that you don't visit the Appreciation Room as often as you once did; because there is another competing room nearby...the Depreciation Room.
The Depreciation Room walls are covered with things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. They were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings & the disappointment of unmet expectations. Some people write very hateful things in this room, where tell-off statements are rehearsed for the next argument. Emotional injuries fester here, adding more scathing remarks to the walls. it's where ammunition is kept for the next big fight and bitterness is allowed to spread like a disease. This room is where people fall out of love.
Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted here as well as violent schemes. The more time you spend in this room, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moment you walk in the door, and your care for them lessens with every second that ticks by. You must decide to stop running to this room lingering there after every frustrating event in your relationship.
Let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance at the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. The only reason you should ever go into that room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" in huge letters across the walls.
Settle down and make the Appreciation Room your home. Choosing to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls.
You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your spouse. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not.
Today's dare: Get 2 sheets of paper; on one sheet write the positive things about your spouse. On the other sheet write the negative things. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
Oh this seems like an easy one but I realized something. It was harder than I thought it would be. It's not what you think...the positive items rolled from my pen like water from a fountain. There was not one problem thinking of the good things about my hubby. What I thought would be easy would be to list out the negative things about him that have really bothered me. As I began to write I honestly had a hard time getting them on paper. Oh I had a few "given" things but what I might have said to hubby as being a negative thing about him seemed to dissipate after writing out all the good things about him. I guess my mind and my heart were so focused on the things that were positive about him that nearly everything else failed in comparison. As Martha Stewart would say, "that's a good thing. " I guess I really am learning already.
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