Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What Are You Focusing On....The Thorns Or The Blooms?

Some of you may remember the song, "I Never Promised You A Rose Garden," written many years ago by Joe South. I can recall as a child riding in the car with our Mother and hearing that tune playing through the radio. Although I never paid much attention to the lyrics, I always remembered the chorus....

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

When it comes to marriage, no truer words can be had than those found in this chorus medley. How many times have couples walked down the aisle to meet each other at the altar to exchange those precious vows with great expectations of a lifetime of happiness. Soon after the honeymoon stage is over you meet your real, true spouse face to face. The courtship phase is over and to put it in everyday terms...the catch has been made so you don't have to bait the hook anymore. The day comes when you have your first "real" argument...ok, fight. That never happened when you were dating so what happened here you wonder!?! As time goes on and the days turn to months and months turn to years, you hopefully learn the true person you married on that glorious day long ago.

After many years, you may come to realize that who you married is not who you are sharing your life with right now. Over the years, they have changed....but then, so have you. Sometimes these changes are for the better and sometimes not. There may be times in your marriage (or any relationship for that matter) where it looks as if there is no hope and only dark clouds gloom over with no ray of sunshine peeking it's way through. These are the times that can test a marriage and dependent upon how you handle it, it can help make or break the relationship.

It is within these tough times that you need to stop, take a deep breath and think back to what really matters most. Do you feel you always have to get the last word in when you argue? Is that really important? Is it important that you do your best to "make" your spouse come around to seeing things your way...regardless of their feelings or thoughts? Do you just have to be right in everything? What is it that is truly important to you?

When we take time to re-evaluate our priorities in our marriage, we find that these trivial things are just that...trivial. The old adage is to learn to pick and choose your battles. Well, how many of us would be willing to say that unfortunately we choose the war zone more times than we should all because of stubbornness and pride. When you fell in love with your wife or husband, the most important thing back then was to spend time together. You wanted to that person to know how significant they were to you and to your life, so you showed them that in anyway possible. You may have cooked them a special candle lit dinner, or they may have given up the time they normally would spend doing their favorite hobby just to give that time to you. No matter what it was, the most important thing back then was each other. So why is it now that "other" things have taken a front row and pushed your spouse to the back seat? Without realizing it, we can do so much damage by neglecting our relationship as we can by our words and actions.

It's time, past time for couples to take back what the enemy is trying to steal from them....their marriage & home, and start putting each other first and foremost. Even if you have to put your spouse first and they don't reciprocate at first...don't give up! Your marriage is much too important to let temporal things tear you apart. Pray and seek the LORD for guidance and ask HIM to help you, especially when you don't feel like putting your spouse first. When families begin to take back the ground that the enemy is trying so hard to take, then and only then will our family units be able to withstand the wiles of the devil. JESUS has already defeated Satan and that little imp of a devil knows he has been defeated forever, but he will try and use any tactic to try and make you think that he power. But don't believe the lies.

GOD never promised us a rose garden, but HE did give us victory over any thorns that may will try to grown in our homes. It's up to us to pluck them out and plant seeds that bear the fruit of the Spirit. If we give in to the fruit, think of how awesome home can truly be. Don't let the pain of the thorns and thistle keep you from enjoying the beauty that is just waiting to be treasured, if we are willing to look for it.


cranky grandma said...

Beautiful words, great advice as usual!

But....... AS A CHILD??? YOU HEARD THIS AS A CHILD??? *sob*! I was a senior in high school!

Kidding aside - very apt song!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post <3 My husband and I don't have the story like most. When we married we didn't have the fun honeymoon stage like most do. Instead I already had a 7 yr old daughter. When we married we didn't invite God into our marriage. We were never taught to. By God's amazing grace we will celebrate our 10 yr. wedding anniversary this July. 5 yrs into our marriage, right at the time I was looking into divorce God called me loudly and put His Word right into my hand. We hadn't had many flowers in our marriage because of my past sin and microwavable (if you will) family as well as family deaths and financial hardships. I was done. When I finally let God work in me, he began to add more and more flowers amidst the thorns and today I am still married to my best friend and father to our 4 children--that's including our eldest who wasn't created by Him. I enjoyed reading your post and you are so right. The devil is after marriage. We as women need to be there for each other. We must pray for each others marriages. *hugs*

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