The State Of Independence

When you have put trust and faith in another only to be let down time and time again, it makes it hard to want to rely on them ever again. Yet...you do. You want to have faith that they will follow through and be a person of their word....but alas, you are let down once more. Eventually you just stop trusting all together. You learn to do things on your own. You begin to re-evaluate what you thought was beyond your ability to handle and you press ahead to figure things out on your own. Oh you may fail in the process but you never stop until you learn fully how to reach the means of completion. It is when you experience that sense of self sufficiency that you realize you are the only one you can truly depend on.

As time passes, you see the trust in another that you admire. You see the fulfillment of their spoken word with action and follow through. For others it is so easy to sit back and take the aid from them but for you...well...that is a completely different story. You want to place faith in them and rely on their offer to assist yet you don't. You fear they will let you down just as others have in the past. Do you really think and feel that this would be the case? You shrug your shoulders as if to say, "I just don't know." You hope for the best but prepare for the let down. Problem is, you can't be let down if you never allow the other to simply help you. You don't want to hurt them but you are. By not letting them lend a hand when they feel led to, you are ultimately shutting the door in their face. You want to let your reliance down some and let another inside of your world, but you hold back.

How do you stop the cycle of continual self reliance and personal dependence? Can it be done? I it possible? Only time and defenses will tell.