Tuesday, May 4, 2010

To Train Up A Child Or Just Socially Scrape By

What makes a liar and rebel? Authority that does not take the lead and responsibility to curtail it before it ever begins. But alas....this is the all too often picture we see of the American youth and parents today. Parents are tossing aside their responsibility in training up and raising their children to be productive, responsible, action-accountable individuals. It's a shame to see a teenager who has potential to be allowed by parents to drop out of school and do nothing with their life. They are not encouraged or even made to try and get some form of education, nor are they even expected to get a job. They are allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they please and have no accountability for their own actions. The youth fraternizes with those of lesser moral value in their character all with the approval of the parents. The child gets arrested and with no accountability they are bailed out by the adult and never even made to pay the penalty for the crimes and actions they commit. It's always someone else's fault.

What happens when these young adults are caught doing harm to another person's property? When it comes to the adult over them....absolutely nothing!!!! They are allowed to continue in the same destructive behavior all the while blame being placed elsewhere. After all, their precious child could never be the wrong one in any situation....even when they are caught red handed! These same children are allowed to play with guns, drugs, alcohol and sex like it is nothing. The parents are not ignorant of the ramifications of this destructive behavior, but yet they choose consciously to turn a blind eye to it because they don't want to deal with it. What they fail to see is that they can try and ignore the consequences now but they will have to deal with in due time....but far to often the damage has already been done and the true accountability is laid in their child's lap. This time they are forced by legalities to face the facts of what they did and pay the price. Unfortunately the guilty child still sees no wrong in what they have done and expects, yes expects that someone will bail them out so they can go along their merry way as it has always been.

Society tries to pass the buck on making people responsible for their own actions. They blame the person's childhood upbringing, or blame it on being a product of a divorced home, or call it self inferiority due to some other person or situations direct result. Never mind the fact that this person made the conscious choice, on their own, to act in a manner that is inappropriate or even harmful to others. Never mind that it was this same person who made the choice to light up the joint and smoke it. Never mind that it was this persons choice to steal a vehicle and wreck into another person. Never mind that this person chose to physically abuse another person. No...no...we can't make them responsible for what they have done, we have to pass it off onto someone else as being the culprit.

When does this vicious cycle of rearing up children that no more have a clue how to take responsibility for their actions than the man in the moon!?! When will parents take their focus off of themselves and their selfish gains and focus on their children? The children of today are so neglected when it comes real parenting. As long as there is a slapped together fast food meal on the counter, the t.v. going and no one really communicating in the home, this is considered normal for most families. The excuse is that we don't live in the "Leave It To Beaver" era anymore. It has nothing to do with what era we are in, but it does have everything to do with the selfishness of our society. When a child is looked at more for the tax credit or child support one can get because of them instead of the gift that they should be....there is definitely something majorly wrong in the world today. Sad thing is, society accepts it and calls it socially acceptable. Well, world....here's my feelings on it....IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!


goatmilker said...

Great post! So true and thanks for sharing. Have a good night. Rebekah

Mrs. B, a very peculiar person said...

In full agreement with you ... I also think our society has accepted a liberal worldview that teaches "relative morality". This relative morality has lead to increased crime rates, increased unwed mothers, increased abortion rates, increased divorce rates, an increases in child abuse, etc.

I remember my freshman sociology course teaching that when a society fails to adhear to a set standard of morality, that society will will implode from the chaos brought about by the lack of set standards. History, not just sociology, supports this.

Relative morality, removes individual responsibility and the authority behind set standards.

In my opinion, Christians need to "wake up" and realize that the world is literally taking our children to hell. It is imparative for our society as a whole that Christians return to Bibilical standards for themselves and thier children. We are commanded to be in this world, but not of this world. The Amish are excellent examples of living out this Biblical command. I am not promoting that all Christians adopt an Amish lifestyle, but rather that our lives and the lives of our children should be noticably different from the world.

Unlike today's mainstream Christian families, Amish families very RARELY deal with crime, unwed pregnancies, abortions, drug abuse, civil disobedience, divorce, child abuse, etc. We Christians need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or what's cool, and begin to focus daily on what God's Word says. We need to begin raising our children according to Biblical standards, not public school standards, not community center standards, not government standards, nor even law enforcement standards. The Bible calls Christians and their families to a higher standard. Our God is a wise God, He is a loving and merciful God and if His standards weren't attainable, He wouldn't have given them to us.

Our nation will only be as strong, moral and just as our Christian families are. Mainstream Christians have adopted too many worldviews and our nation is suffering because of it.


cranky grandma said...

Oh, so painfully true! We are raising the "not my fault" generation, and we will all pay the price. I think when divorce became easy, single motherhood became popular and prayer became evil we all suffered.
These kids are so entitled these days because parents are all too guilt ridden to stand up and act like adults.
So little Johnny's feelings are hurt? So what? If you think that's the first time that will happen, guess again!
I am sick to death of the excuses parents make for these brats these days - no accountability what so ever.

Domestic Goddess said...

Wow. This was a really hard post to read. I would hope that one would not believe that all parents of children who act like this are neglectful. I have just had the state police at my home to question my daughter about stealing a cell phone. I have tried everything possible to help my child. She has a therapist and has had some sort of therapy since she was 5 years old. She has been raised in the church and is going through confirmation classes. She "knows" the difference between right and wrong and yet she chooses to to do the wrong thing. She has no life pretty much grounded all the time. She can't be trusted to be at track practice when she is supposed to be so she lost that too. What am I to do as a parent. I have three other children who obey, follow the rules and learn from mistakes. This one keeps making the same ones over and over. It doesn't matter if we spank, take her things or take her privilages. She goes right back to doing what she wants when she wants.
As far as the Amish community... I live in Amish community and you don't hear about it because they deal with it within the community. They do have unwed pregnancies but the girls are sent away to another community, they do have drinking problems and get arrested for drinking and driving their horse drawn carriages. As far as child abuse goes, it depends on what you feel is abuse. The Amish children are finished with school at 14 and considered adults and have to be treated as such when doing business with them. It is not unheard of for parents of large families to leave the children in the care of 13 and 14 year olds while they travel for a funeral or a wedding and this could be for a week or so. Amish are like mainstream Christians. Just because they have the label doesn't mean they have the behavior. Our Amish friend said the Amish are like everyone else, you have good ones and bad. It's because we are human and we all sin.

Mrs. M said...

Domestic ~
Know that I do understand completely that there are some situations where regardless of the parenting that the adult does for the child, they just rebel and choose to make the wrong choices...knowing very well right from wrong and that there is going to be punishment because of it.

What I was writing about are the parents and adults who turn a blind eye to their children's behavior and train to know that no matter what "they" choose to do...wrong as it may be...their parents will constantly bail them out and they will not have to face the consequences of their actions. We all see this far more than we care to and it's time that parents finally get a back bone and stand up as what they are...PARENTS! Kids have enough friends nowadays but what they lack are parents and adult figures that would hold them to accountable for their actions.

When a parent is trying but they are meeting resistance from the child, it is not hte parents fault. But when the parents do nothign and allow the behavior and actions, that is when both parties are to blame....parent and teen. The parents for their lack of training and the teen for their conscious choices to do the wrong. Both are to be held accountible for their part in things not just one or the other.

These are merely my thoughts on things and I don't expect everyoine to agree with me.

~Mrs. M